This may get me in trouble
So, the thought police have struck in Massachusetts public schools to keep those guilty of the of the sin of intolerance from adversely affecting their children. Lovely.In my state, civil unions for gays are legal. I don't think I care. What I have wondered about, though, is what happens fifteen years from now when I have a kid in elementary school? What if I want to tell my kid, "Actually... I don't think homosexuality is normal," in addition to things like, "Don't ever be mean to someone for being different from you." That's not good enough for some proponets of gay marriage, apparently. Some have this need for everyone to THINK like them, not just accept them.
Well, guess what? People aren't all going to agree. This is America, remember? The idea is, we agree that we won't beat the shit out of each other for disagreeing. THAT is tolerance. And those who do beat people up get sent to jail. THAT is justice.
I grew up in the Bible Belt. I am not a fundamentalist Christian. I had friends who thought I was going to hell and was completely wrong about God and Jesus and the Universe and that I needed to be saved. So we disagreed. We still hung out, studied and participated in clubs together and for the most part got along (except when I wanted to play secular pop music at a friend's house... she got upset... ooops! In her defense, I will say that we watched The Monkees together on VH1). At the most, it was irritating, but only if I thought about it too often. And fortunately, I live in America, where we can believe whatever we want, so their religious ideas didn't threaten me.
Likewise, I don't feel threatened by gay people. Fuck whoever you want. I might think it's weird, but I'm not be rude and tell you that or try to change you. Live your own life, and I'll live mine, and maybe we'll get coffee (tea for me) on Tuesday.
And meanwhile, I'm gonna teach my (future) kids not only that homosexuality doesn't make any sense to me personally (I thought we had sex drives to keep our species going), but that the arguments in support of gay marriage don't always hold water, particularly when applied to different situations. For example:
1) "It's how I feel, so it must be okay." I once felt like punching a guy in the face. But he really didn't deserve it, technically. And I would have gotten in trouble. So I didn't. We all have good and bad and neutral desires. As adults, it is our job to decide for ourselves which fall into which category based on, for one, the logical outcomes of acting on a particular desire. So if you're a guy who wants to screw a guy, you can. Or you can decide, "Wait, anal sex is gross. I have conflicting desires. Thinkthinkthink... Okay, maybe I won't do that." Because eeeew, buttsex. Anyway. The point is, we're human beings and we're free to weigh the options and choose what we do.
2) "I was born this way." Maybe. Maybe not. Nature vs. nurture. Who knows? You know what you were born? A crying helpless baby, like all of us. We don't always end up what we were born. We grow up, consider things, have stuff thrown at us, deal as best we can, make choices, etc. Of course we all have random desires and we don't always know why, so it's easy to say, "I must have been born this way. There must be something in my genes that makes me want this." That could be. But that ignores the emotional aspects of sexual desire (remember, I'm a girl!), so there are a lot of aspects to consider. I think it's important for us to ask ourselves, WHY do I like this guy/girl? Am I insecure and want someone stronger? Am I a jerk and want someone to push around? Do I have a desire to take care of someone? Is it really just that he looks like James Dean? Am I really that shallow? Fuck.
I'm not attacking anyone for being gay or bi. I don't have those desires so I can't understand what it's like, although I try. I want to understand and empathize, but I also want to pass on my belief that you shouldn't let your desires push you around to my kids.
I think I'm gonna have to send my kids to private school. Damn, I need to make more money!
posted by ariah @ 12:04 PM
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