Sunday, March 22, 2009

On second thought...

Just stay home.

I swear you guys had cute stuff when I was in Spain... so why, three years later, is it 19 frickin' 91? WTF??


I will not dress up like an old woman's curtains

No, Topshop. I'm happy you're coming to NYC, but no.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

More Manslations

Q: Why don't some women get hit on all the time?

One of several possibilities, according to the Manslator:

"She’s not attractive, and he’s only interested in looks. Actually, this is not as big a deal as we think it is. A really attractive woman gets hit on more than an unattractive one, sure. But you know what she doesn’t get? More high quality hits. She’s just going to get more of les baggage du douche."

Depending on what year it is/where I work/the amount of solar activity, I might be in the "getting hit on all the freaking time" group or the "totally ignored - well, not ignored, but not approached, like, at all" group. Based on my experience, I completely agree with the above excerpt!

Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that most of the guys who have hit on me are douches! I mean, they might be. I have no way of knowing. But I can tell you that sometimes it's REALLY obvious that a guy only wants what I ain't about to give him, and that puts him in the "low quality hit" category.

Labels: , is my new favorite website.


Labels: ,

Attention Boypeople: Do not do this

In an effort to help males assimilate into civilized society, I recommend noting the following:

"Good manners are, first of all, civilized behavior. That's as opposed to wild behavior. 'He acts like he was raised in a barnyard,' my mother would say, about some hapless boy who pulled up in front of my house for a date and just sat in the car and honked."

This act translates to: "Yo bitch, get your ass out here!" even if the thought behind the act is only: "OMG, your dad is scary, your parents will hate me, I don't know what to say to them, fearfearfear!" Either way, you are undesirable. Grow a pair and learn how to go on a date without being a douchebag or go home.

I should mention that I have never experienced this. The boys I dated all came to the door - that was when the trouble usually started (the trouble being only that they were... disappointing). They either didn't know how to talk to parents and grunted their way through conversations, or they THOUGHT they knew how and clearly saw themselves as very charming (which is not at all charming). Being nervous is completely okay and understandable. In fact, my mom would have reacted to a sincerely polite guy who was a bit nervous about making a good impression with "Aw, he was nervous. Good." He would get a "point" for being able to carry on a conversation reasonably well, and for not assuming he was in control of the situation (With my mom? Hahahaha! My mom is so slick in those situations and is very good at getting information out of people. Any guy who doesn't notice this gets labelled "doof").

And now I'm all grown up, but living at home... lame. So, the same rules sort of apply because honestly, I want to see if a guy passes the meeting the parents at the door test. While in a way I'm sorry to have to inflict a meeting the parents moment on a guy on a first or second date, the fact is, I am poor and live off the 'rents. That's life right now. If a guy can't engage in polite non-smarmy conversation with them, I don't want his lame ass.


Labels: , ,

No money to buy them with, anyway

In the midst of this economic meltdown thingy, the fashion industry hopes we care about the newest old new thing. Seeing as how it may be difficult to persuade us to part with our money (even Americans' pending extra $13 a day, woooo:, this is not a wise move (click link and scroll down to "floppy trousers").

Do they sound like zoot suit pants to anyone else?

Ugh. No. Try again.


Saturday, January 31, 2009

What, for realz?

"...a woman is best advised not to sleep with a man on a first date."

No fucking way! Are you shitting me? REALLY? OMG, I NEVER would have thought that. Damn. Thank GOD for NEW STUDIES!

Labels: , ,

Friday, January 30, 2009

Grad School Apps

Still working on them, but nearly done.

Deadline for the last school is Feb 1.

Meanwhile, I am barely working (yay, having my hours cut because someone who's been there longer got hired full time)!

Also working on another project to make money (training to become a tutor at my company).

Very not exciting. I should be excited. But I have to make food for office poker night and show up and be all like, I'm not pissed that I'm undervalued, nooo, not me.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

THIS is why I am ambivalent about dating

Because 1) Edward isn't real, and 2) even though Robert says nice things like "I guess old-fashionedness now just equates with people being considerate. It's weird that it's considered an old-fashioned virtue," he's too young for me. (Not really, but I tell myself that.)

I'm going to be 25 relatively soon and the boys I meet, are just that - boys. Slobby, impatient, unconfident (or over-confident for stupid reasons), uncomfortable in nice clothes (or some kind of metro/trying too hard)... most seem to lack common sense. A lot of them, surprisingly, are pretty freakin' emo. And all of them expect sex. Except for the Mormons.

I'm sorry, but do you honestly think I'm going to all of a sudden decide that neither my future nor my self respect are all that important and have sex with a slimy undercooked chicken like you? No!


That's how most of them look to me - undercooked. Even (especially) Pattinson. Ugh, man, stop whining and get a GF, or some other motivation to cut your damn hair.

It's really sad, but I've noticed that I tend to find the older men in movies or on tv the most appealing - the ones I would never smooch IRL, bc, ew, they're old and I'm like a 12 year old hiding inside a "grownup." (But not hiding all that well, as my manager pointed out when I went out of my way to step in snow on the sidewalk and he laughed at me... but that was okay, because he hit me with a snowball and then promised not to fire me for getting him back. And I got him good. Looked like he had dandruff!) Case in point, my other other guilty pleasure, after Twilight and WoW, is NCIS... actually, it's USA's weekday 3 hour NCIS marathon... I really need more hours at work. Anyway. I think Gibbs and Duckie are the most appealing males on that show. I am totally not into either of them because of the age difference; however, while I find Tony and McGee cute, I woldn't smooch them either, because Tony is a jerkwad and McGee is just now growing a spine. (McGeek does have potential, though! Ahh, my dreams of playing WoW with my hubby...) Right, so, there's my problem(s?).

I've been told that what I want doesn't exist. I've also been assured that it does. Either way, I have little patience for crappy in-the-meantime options.

Really, the only thing to do is just get into school, be really busy, go on some adventures (Japan! Or like, somewhere else!), and eventually meet Mr. Actually All Right. And agree on basic values and beliefs (so maybe our kids will not be super confused and I won't end up single again and ranting about it on my blog). And then get married and NEVER HAVE TO DATE OR NOT-DATE AGAIN!!! And get old but not "old" together and do boring things, like playing checkers at Cracker Barrel, and non-boring things, like hiking in, I dunno, Indonesia when it's not being bombed or whatever by terrorists.

Now sleep.

Labels: , ,

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Inaugural speech question

So, when Obama mentioned the lines of communication that "bind us," did anyone else think of the Borg?

Man, I wish I had been watching that speech not surrounded by lots of Obama supporters.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

If it's rap, I kind of understand

TheTaliban needs to get some lives and rent The Lion King. Maybe then they'd understand that their lack of exposure to animated animals is why they're so pissed at everyone. Actually, that's not the reason. Case in point, the Mujahedeen ( - See "Abu Hassan").

I'd like to see the Tom and Jerry watching Mujahedeen debate the Taliban on this issue:

Taliban: It's a "source of mental agony for pious people"!

Mooj: Look douche, I'm goin' on a suicide mission tomorrow and I'm honestly not sure all those virgins will compensate for never knowing whether or not Tom gets that mouse!


Damn White People

Thanks, man. That wasn't rude or condescending at ALL.