More Manslations
Q: Why don't some women get hit on all the time?
One of several possibilities, according to the Manslator:
"She’s not attractive, and he’s only interested in looks. Actually, this is not as big a deal as we think it is. A really attractive woman gets hit on more than an unattractive one, sure. But you know what she doesn’t get? More high quality hits. She’s just going to get more of les baggage du douche."
Depending on what year it is/where I work/the amount of solar activity, I might be in the "getting hit on all the freaking time" group or the "totally ignored - well, not ignored, but not approached, like, at all" group. Based on my experience, I completely agree with the above excerpt!
Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that most of the guys who have hit on me are douches! I mean, they might be. I have no way of knowing. But I can tell you that sometimes it's REALLY obvious that a guy only wants what I ain't about to give him, and that puts him in the "low quality hit" category.
Labels: boys, dating
HAHAHAHAHA!
Labels: boys, dating
In an effort to help males assimilate into civilized society, I recommend noting the following:
"Good manners are, first of all, civilized behavior. That's as opposed to wild behavior. 'He acts like he was raised in a barnyard,' my mother would say, about some hapless boy who pulled up in front of my house for a date and just sat in the car and honked."
This act translates to: "Yo bitch, get your ass out here!" even if the thought behind the act is only: "OMG, your dad is scary, your parents will hate me, I don't know what to say to them, fearfearfear!" Either way, you are undesirable. Grow a pair and learn how to go on a date without being a douchebag or go home.
I should mention that I have never experienced this. The boys I dated all came to the door - that was when the trouble usually started (the trouble being only that they were... disappointing). They either didn't know how to talk to parents and grunted their way through conversations, or they THOUGHT they knew how and clearly saw themselves as very charming (which is not at all charming). Being nervous is completely okay and understandable. In fact, my mom would have reacted to a sincerely polite guy who was a bit nervous about making a good impression with "Aw, he was nervous. Good." He would get a "point" for being able to carry on a conversation reasonably well, and for not assuming he was in control of the situation (With my mom? Hahahaha! My mom is so slick in those situations and is very good at getting information out of people. Any guy who doesn't notice this gets labelled "doof").
And now I'm all grown up, but living at home... lame. So, the same rules sort of apply because honestly, I want to see if a guy passes the meeting the parents at the door test. While in a way I'm sorry to have to inflict a meeting the parents moment on a guy on a first or second date, the fact is, I am poor and live off the 'rents. That's life right now. If a guy can't engage in polite non-smarmy conversation with them, I don't want his lame ass.
:)
Labels: boys, dating, society
Because 1) Edward isn't real, and 2) even though Robert says nice things like "I guess old-fashionedness now just equates with people being considerate. It's weird that it's considered an old-fashioned virtue," he's too young for me. (Not really, but I tell myself that.)
I'm going to be 25 relatively soon and the boys I meet, are just that - boys. Slobby, impatient, unconfident (or over-confident for stupid reasons), uncomfortable in nice clothes (or some kind of metro/trying too hard)... most seem to lack common sense. A lot of them, surprisingly, are pretty freakin' emo. And all of them expect sex. Except for the Mormons.
I'm sorry, but do you honestly think I'm going to all of a sudden decide that neither my future nor my self respect are all that important and have sex with a slimy undercooked chicken like you? No!
Fuck.
That's how most of them look to me - undercooked. Even (especially) Pattinson. Ugh, man, stop whining and get a GF, or some other motivation to cut your damn hair.
It's really sad, but I've noticed that I tend to find the older men in movies or on tv the most appealing - the ones I would never smooch IRL, bc, ew, they're old and I'm like a 12 year old hiding inside a "grownup." (But not hiding all that well, as my manager pointed out when I went out of my way to step in snow on the sidewalk and he laughed at me... but that was okay, because he hit me with a snowball and then promised not to fire me for getting him back. And I got him good. Looked like he had dandruff!) Case in point, my other other guilty pleasure, after Twilight and WoW, is NCIS... actually, it's USA's weekday 3 hour NCIS marathon... I really need more hours at work. Anyway. I think Gibbs and Duckie are the most appealing males on that show. I am totally not into either of them because of the age difference; however, while I find Tony and McGee cute, I woldn't smooch them either, because Tony is a jerkwad and McGee is just now growing a spine. (McGeek does have potential, though! Ahh, my dreams of playing WoW with my hubby...) Right, so, there's my problem(s?).
I've been told that what I want doesn't exist. I've also been assured that it does. Either way, I have little patience for crappy in-the-meantime options.
Really, the only thing to do is just get into school, be really busy, go on some adventures (Japan! Or like, somewhere else!), and eventually meet Mr. Actually All Right. And agree on basic values and beliefs (so maybe our kids will not be super confused and I won't end up single again and ranting about it on my blog). And then get married and NEVER HAVE TO DATE OR NOT-DATE AGAIN!!! And get old but not "old" together and do boring things, like playing checkers at Cracker Barrel, and non-boring things, like hiking in, I dunno, Indonesia when it's not being bombed or whatever by terrorists.
Now sleep.
Labels: books, boys, TV
Apparently I am not fazed by much
I've never been a person to jump when people sneak up behind me. The only times people have successfully freaked me out have been when I've been uptight and nervous about something, and those instances are rare. In the past couple weeks, 2 of my coworkers have tried it.
Me: Um... what are you doing?
Coworker: Uh... I was trying to sneak up on you and scare you. I guess it didn't work.
Me: Nope, you fail. Hee hee!
So, today when some guy pushed past me to escape from a restaurant with a stolen soda, I just kinda backed up half a step, looked at him, looked at the restaurant employee who had a hold of his wrist, wondered why the thief was holding several flat, empty paper bags (now I can't remember for sure if the drink-stealer was holding them or if the cafe employee was, but I think he was), wondered vaguely how much my shoes would hinder me if I pursued him, watched a second employee follow closely behind, figured they could handle one skinny guy, darted past the open door to the window to watch them drag him back in, noted a white rag and bottle with light purple liquid inside in the hand of the second employee, paid for my food, and left.
So, I think he was trying to steal a purple soda/juice drink. Not sure what was up with the little, empty brown paper bags.
By the way, the guy was in a nice mauvey dress shirt and totally didn't need to steal that purple soda.
I wonder if it's a bad thing that I don't react more. Like, when I see that things are falling, I hesitate. If it's breakable I may go for it, but usually, I'm like, eh, it'll survive. That's why I suck at volleyball - I'm like, oh, the ball. There it went. Of course, I'm scared of the ball, so that may have something to do with it... :)
Yeah, I'm glad that other employee was close behind because I don't know if I would have helped. Probably not. Even though with the first employee slowing him down I totally could have taken the guy down. He was small, skinny and unarmed! Oh well. Then again... maybe I would have. That's a little scary. Or maybe I'm just a little scary. :)
Labels: boys, crime, silliness
Just a random thought that I wrote to a friend. He said, "that's funny."
I was walking up 40th and I saw a girl holding a guy's hand; the girl wore a shirt that said "Friends are forever, boys are whatever." I didn't think of it at the time, but I should have punched her in the face. I don't know exactly how, but I think it would have helped.
And then I showed it to Jamie and she said, "It's like bros before hos!"
Hoes, right? or Hos. Hoes. Hmm.
So, now question: Is it possible to be friends with someone you're dating?
Answer: Yes, if they DON'T SUCK AT LIFE!
*sigh*
I haven't really been friends with the guys who were my boyfriends because they "weren't themselves" around me.
Me: Oh, dear! Well, be yourself!
Guy: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Guy: Because then you won't like me.
Me: Um... but you don't know that.
Guy: Yeah I do.
THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN WASTING MY TIME, YOU PANSY???
.....
Yay, I feel better now!
/end
Labels: boys, random
I just got hit on in a really weird way
Stop me if you've heard this one. A girl goes to a sports bar on her lunch break with a group of coworkers. The place is PACKED, and the girl decides to dine elsewhere, as baseball doesn't really interest her. On her way out she sees the greeter guy and his coworker and she could swear the coworker just said something to her. She turns around, and over the too loud music she can hear him say that he's fishing.
"What?" she asks.
He approaches and extends the headset in his hand. "I'm fishing for hot" is all she can make out of his mumbling.
"Hunh?"
"I'm fishing for hot women!" he says, finally enunciating well enough to be understood over the sports bar clamor. He taps her arm with his headset. "Wanna grab on?"
She must look angry, because he backs away as he waits for a response.
"That's... a new one," she says, too hungry to think of a witty response. She turns and exits.
Yeah.
I wish I could have joked around with the guy, but I don't respond well to jokes/being hit on/almost anything when I'm ravenous. I just kind of stare. And then walk towards food. Eh well, didn't want to encourage him.
Anyway.
I don't want to talk about boys. I want to think up some obstacles for my antlered girl in the story I'm writing for my PORTFOLIO! Because I'm going to GRAD SCHOOL! To study CREATIVE WRITING!
I'ma try to buy my coworker Louis's mom lunch and talk w/ her. She got her masters in CW and is an editor now. Bc I really need this to be practical, somehow. OMG. I wonder if she was a TA. I need to make a list of questions!
Or sip my turkey orzo soup and go back to work, bc lunch is over.
Labels: boys, weird
Karaoke
In the real world, after work, people go out to bars. I'm not much of a bar hopper but if my friends are going I may tag along and sip my ice water and sing along to Queen like no one can hear me. And basically, nothing happens. I talk to my friends, they have drinks, then we go mochi hunting or home to play WoW/sleep.
Last Friday night was different. I went to a Japanese restaurant my choir conductor owns with a few choir pals I hadn't seen in months to do karaoke. Thought it would be great to catch up. At first it was, until I saw my friend Mandy crying in the arms of the uber blond DJ, "Super Dave." Turns out Mandy was upset because a couple of our friends were getting too drunk and apparently have a history of driving home... not fully sober. Great. So, I hung around until the bar until it closed to keep an eye on everyone and offer to play DD if necessary.
Many things happened while one of my friends was drinking herself sick and crying on the floor of the bathroom. Sang a little karaoke, got yelled at by the bartender "Ringo" for ordering water, tried to decipher Ringo's attempts to get my number, had to pry Ringo's hands off my hand multiple times, rescued Veronica from a creepy old man hitting on her, ran away when said creepy man started hitting on me and touching my shoulders, tried to have a conversation with choir director's 40 year old friend who doesn't speak English well, tried not to puke when my lonely friend started cuddling with him... Yeah. It was one of those nights.
I don't have those nights... like, ever. I suppose that's why I don't react very well to drunk/weird men. While dancing (by dancing, I mean "dancing" - I kind of bounce and sway...) w/ the girls, Ringo decided to join in. I stopped dancing and stared at him.
Me: What do you think you're doing? Are you dancing with me?
Ringo: Yeah!
Me: No you're not.
Ringo: I'm not?
Me: No, you know why? 'Cause I'm not dancing.
He went away. Later he tried to buy shots for my friends, who politely turned him down. Apparently he does this every week.
In between being hit on, there was Karaoke. Karaoke needs rules. And people to enforce these rules - karaoke police. Like, if you're so drunk you start giving lap dances to the guy my friend brought, and you can't tell that he's actually scared of you, you can't sing with us. Furthermore, you should be tackled and tossed in a taxi, because you're just going to end up hitting on the police who get stuck taking you home.
Really Drunk Girl: Hey, can I sing with you?
Lillie and Me (wusses): Um, sure.
RDG: *grabs my mic*
Super Dave: *hands me another*
RDG: *butchers Kokomo*
L&Me: *slink back to booth*
So, later I approached Super Dave.
Me: Hey, excuse me, what's your name?
Super Dave: I'm Super Dave.
Me: Oh, well, hi, nice to meet you.
SD&Me: *shake hands*
Me: *explains that we don't know RDG and asks if SD can turn her mic off if she jumps in again*
SD: Oh, I didn't know she wasn't your friend! Okay, I'll see what I can do. By the way, next time you come, could you like, not dress so hot?
Me: Um, well *makes up some crap about having a date*
SD: Right, well, the rest of us 15 guys in here are left drooling, so you know...
Me: Hey man, sorry, I didn't realize.
I later learned that Super Dave is married with 2 kids.
And he kissed my friend Anne on the cheek and asked when she was going to stop yelling at him. Anne doesn't yell at people she's not well acquainted with. Anne is a very nice person.
Anne: Probably never.
The best part of the night was when Anne said, "I didn't know what else to say to Super Dave. I thought, if Ariah were here, she'd know what to say! You always know what to say."
^___^
The other best part of the night was the gyouza. Mmm!
At the end of the night, Ringo approached me again.
Ringo: You're DD?
Me: Yeah, if they need me.
Ringo: *high fives me, then intertwines his fingers with mine and squeezes hard* I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about ordering water. Next time, you tell me you're DD and you can have all the ice water you want!
Me: Okay, let go, that hurts.
So, everyone found a ride home and I got home a little before 3. Way past my bedtime these days. MacGyver was very confused to be awoken by me coming in at that time. Awwww, puppy.
Friday night this week - puppy school! Because dogs don't drink. And they sit when you tell them to.
In theory.
^__^
Labels: boys, puppies, silliness
