Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Some writer asks, "What, I thought, had become of modern man's chivalry?"

The answer:

1) They weren't raised to be gentleman;

2) Or maybe they were, or figured it out somewhere, but they're too afraid we'll punch them in the face. And that it'll hurt.

There you go. Can't really do anything about number 1. Number 2? Well, try not being scary. It is possible to be a strong woman without being a freakin' scowly get the F outta my way, pathetic male, Klingon woman (you could be, say, secretly Shaolin. And you wouldn't have to flaunt it!). That might help. The end.

The writer also says, "The difficulty for many of today's career women is that in order to compete with men, we've morphed into them."

Retard. We threw out the 1980s shoulderpads that ate Tokyo ages ago. You should have taken the hint.

Honestly, the problem isn't that career women are too confident, it's that some of them AREN'T and they're compensating by being "career oriented," which in this case really means being annoying (harsh, bitchy, rude, domineering, etc.). Yes, go have a fulfilling career. And then chill the fuck out.

By the way, the author lists these things as making her feel masculine: "Working full-time, making every decision, paying every bill, driving myself everywhere, booking tickets for holidays, lugging the Christmas tree in - it's all completely de-feminising."

Oh dear. See, this is a problem, too. Let's go over this item by item.

Working full-time - there's something in the Bible about how a good (Jewish) woman does all kinds of stuff like managing the land and stuff. Go read it.

Making every decision - If you don't want to do that, you can probably find a man to do it for you. But that would be lame. Grow up.

Paying every bill - That's a good idea. BTW, in the mostly traditional division of labor at my house, my mom does this.

Driving myself everywhere - sorry you can't afford a chauffeur. You could move to a city with mass transit, I guess.

Booking tickets for holidays - Yeah, you know, every time I do that, I think, damn, where has my femininity gone?

Lugging the Christmas tree in - Yeah, that's really "men's work." WTF??? Shut up and pick up the damn tree.

Apparently, this woman's problem is that she DOESN'T KNOW what being feminine is.

As that is clearly the case, I suggest, once again, chilling the fuck out, and just trying to get along with people. Be assertive when necessary. Sometimes, defer to others and let them feel like they have value (do you REALLY care where you end up going to lunch? Let Bob choose today. It's okay. It doesn't mean you're submitting to patriarchy).

The writer ended up going to a consultant (THIS is what I should be doing with my life! I should be a femininity consultant!) who said, "Femininity is all about being relaxed with yourself." Thank you.

And then she goes to see a Botox guy (bc BOTOX iz t3h 53x!), who actually has some good things to say: "Interestingly, Dr Sebagh says that his happiest clients are in their 50s and 60s.'They are in touch with what matters in their life. They want men for companionship, not some lifestyle choice. 'They have souls and are far more authentic.'"

Um, of course they want men for companionship. Isn't that the point of dating?

OH, wait, no, it's to "have sex like men," or something we learned on SATC. To accessorize our FABULOUS lives. Haha, I knew that. Pssssssssssh.

Some psychologist said the following: "'The feminine principle is about allowing things to unfold and happen, not always interfering. 'Career women think that they have to be in control to make it happen, but if they stop and tap into some kind of emotional intelligence and empathy, it makes them better problem-solvers.'According to Allen, you cannot have true success or a successful relationship without the balance of masculine and feminine: 'The reason career women feel lonely within themselves and often have a deep sense of failure is because they are not connected to their hearts. 'I'm not saying career women should chuck it all away, but if they connect to things that really matter to them, if they start to appreciate little beautiful things every day - literally stop and smell the roses - then what they will have to offer will be really quite profound.'"

BALANCE. That would help.

I think femininity is being at peace with yourself. The feminine things, whatever they are, things like being compassionate and intuitive and strong without being OMGMUSTCONTROLEVERYTHING, will then come naturally.


Monday, July 28, 2008


My mum and I were sitting at a restaurant talking about race the other day. Our favorite echocardiogram...doer (I don't know her title! Aah!) is black and dating a white guy. Two of her brothers are strongly against it. So mum and I were discussing dating ppl of other races and I was, like, "Oh, there was something about this on this blog that's written by this angry black/native American guy - stuffblackpeoplehate.com. The site is hilarious." Not that the subject is hilarious. But the blogger guy is really really funny.

So, as I'm saying "stuffblackpeoplehate.com," enter white server who makes a weird trying not to laugh noise, successfully sets down my tea without spilling it and asks in that I'm-not-sure-what's-going-on-here-so-I-want-to-laugh-but-I-shouldn't voice if he can get us anything else.

So I guess I made our server feel really awkward. Ha ha.


Sunday, July 27, 2008


I dislike being single sometimes, particularly today. Nothing to say about that.

I also dislike when family members are in the hospital. It takes me a bit to unwind from that, even if I'm totally with it and helpful and things while it's going on. I really really hate it, because if I'm not worried about my mom, I feel like, damn, other people here must be so worried, and there are old people, and the end of their lives sucks for them. And then I feel OLD - like an ADULT, who's cynical and all these stupid things I said I wouldn't become when I was smarter/a kid.

Screw that, I'm going back to being hopeful. I'm not gonna shut things off or not think about difficult things, but I am NOT gonna be scared. I have gotten scared lately, like of going to the dentist. I wasn't THAT bad about it as a kid/pre-teen.

Of course, some of that may have to do with that misdiagnosis (I had good reason for not believing that I needed a root canal - because I didn't! Still don't!) And I'm not going to be afraid of getting some kind of new retainer thing (also financial worry there, meh! Do I have to decide between grad school and straight teeth? Not sure at this point).

Anyway, new challenges, new perspectives - and now I need to hit the refresh button and chill the F out.

Rereading Emerald House Rising by Peg Kerr. This might be my 4th time reading it all the way through. I like how she describes magic as the ability to see possibilities and discern which ones should be acted upon. The whole book is like, awesome plot interwoven with a simple but fairly revolutionary way of thinking. It's got substance. Sometimes I stop reading and just think about the ideas presented. I like that kind of book. I want to write a book like that.

Enough blah. Time to pick out tomorrow's clothes and/or (or, most likely) hit Azeroth for some elemental slaying.

Me smash rock!!!

Labels: ,

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


OMG, my job is driving me crazy. Not in a horrible way - I don't have an evil manager or work up to my eyeballs or anything; in fact, my manager is the nicest person ever. And that's probably enough of a reason not to complain.

But two things are getting to me:

1) My work is so boring and repetetive and unchallenging that I can feel my brain atrophying; and

2) Work is very far from home. Total 3 hours spent commuting per day. Lame.

These are problems because:

1) I like having a brain and I would like it to remember how to work; and

2) I miss my puppy. Also, I hate SITTING ON MY ARSE all day. (The puppy requires that I don't do that.)

Also, it's freezing in here. Brrrrr.

I feel very separated from the world at my little compy here. I mean, there are hostage trades going on between Israel and Hezbollah, and villagers taking up arms to protect their children's schools in Afghanistan and what do I do?

I answer emails all day. Here's how to get an extension! Here's why you can't do this! Here's an alternate solution to something that isn't really a big problem at all.

Meh. I hope I get into grad school.