I remember back when I thought that no guys would ever like me. If only this post had been there!
How Was I Supposed to Know She Was a Mannequin?
Bro #1: I mean, you can't turn that down.
Bro #2: Right, you can't turn that down! I mean, she had boobs!
--University Place & North Washington Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Labels: random
blogs are for gloating, right?
I went to a craft store today to help my mom pick out a frame for a print (it's of a painting of pretty off-reddish dishes and yellow/greenish background ish). The frame she had selected was waaaay too purply, so I helped pick out a better one. The lady who worked there said, "How are old are you now?"
Me: [stupidly] Uh, how old am I?
Lady: Yes, you. How old are you?
Me: 24.
Lady: Can I give you an application? You have a good eye. Come work here with me.
Me: Um, do you have benefits? A full time position?
Lady: No, we don't have any full time positions. You can start part time!
Me: Sorry, I need full time.
Lady: You would be good at it! You have a good eye!
So, apparently I have a good eye.
I also miss doing artsy-craftsy things. But I need a full time job. This current part time business is only temporary. Yeeees.
Time to work on short stories for grad school apps! I feel like I don't have a chance at getting in. Damn small programs. Anyway! That's no excuse not to work at it. Here I go!
Labels: random
Racism
I hate racism. My silly previous post got me thinking. I mean, I like to make cultural jokes. I'll make these random generalizations, like, "Damn, the Japanese are fucking crazy." And I love Japan and would never look at a person like, "Oh, you're Japanese, so clearly you personally sexualize innocence like your teen mags do and watch tentacle pr0n." Because that would be an illogical assumption.
Also, I say things about my culture that should be made fun of, like how I can't hear someone sing "The stars at night are big and bright!" without responding with *clapclapclapclap* "Deep in the heart of Texas!" I was brainwashed to respond this way. It hurts to resist. I kind of should be laughed at (mildly) for that.
But actual racism, the kind that influences a guy I like to say some bullshit like, "Why do you like me? I'm a greasy spic," makes me very very angry. (I hit him with a throw pillow for that and told him never ever to talk about himself that way. And he took it. That made me more mad. Don't take shit from people, even me! Well, he has low self-esteem. But I think it's partly due to racism and, of course, classism. Meh.)
It's so weird how in New Jersey, people say crap about Mexicans. I mean... so they're newer than say, Italians, who are more established here. It's that stupid "let's be ridiculous about the immigrants!" mindset.
And then people up here talk about how racist Southerners supposedly are. Some of them are. But 1) white supremacists are not centrally located in the South, according to ppl who research these groups - there are a lot in IDAHO, apparently; and, 2) plenty of these north-eastern Yankees are f'ing racist.
It makes me sad.
Labels: random
race!
My mum and I were sitting at a restaurant talking about race the other day. Our favorite echocardiogram...doer (I don't know her title! Aah!) is black and dating a white guy. Two of her brothers are strongly against it. So mum and I were discussing dating ppl of other races and I was, like, "Oh, there was something about this on this blog that's written by this angry black/native American guy - stuffblackpeoplehate.com. The site is hilarious." Not that the subject is hilarious. But the blogger guy is really really funny.
So, as I'm saying "stuffblackpeoplehate.com," enter white server who makes a weird trying not to laugh noise, successfully sets down my tea without spilling it and asks in that I'm-not-sure-what's-going-on-here-so-I-want-to-laugh-but-I-shouldn't voice if he can get us anything else.
So I guess I made our server feel really awkward. Ha ha.
Labels: random
Just a random thought that I wrote to a friend. He said, "that's funny."
I was walking up 40th and I saw a girl holding a guy's hand; the girl wore a shirt that said "Friends are forever, boys are whatever." I didn't think of it at the time, but I should have punched her in the face. I don't know exactly how, but I think it would have helped.
And then I showed it to Jamie and she said, "It's like bros before hos!"
Hoes, right? or Hos. Hoes. Hmm.
So, now question: Is it possible to be friends with someone you're dating?
Answer: Yes, if they DON'T SUCK AT LIFE!
*sigh*
I haven't really been friends with the guys who were my boyfriends because they "weren't themselves" around me.
Me: Oh, dear! Well, be yourself!
Guy: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Guy: Because then you won't like me.
Me: Um... but you don't know that.
Guy: Yeah I do.
THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN WASTING MY TIME, YOU PANSY???
.....
Yay, I feel better now!
/end
Labels: boys, random
Obligatory Disclaimer: Only click the above link if you aren't ridiculously sensitive to racial generalizations about white people.
Quote: If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “
Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.
To prove how correct this is, I am so aggravated that I can't use smart quotes to fix the incorrect (missing) quotation marks around "it's"! <-- Look at me being all British!
Labels: random, silliness
Ben
I have this friend Ben from high school art class who I sometimes run into on the train platform. We sit together on the train and giggle about ostriches.
Today we wrote a haiku:
Ah, plastic pillow
I want to use it for sleep
Makes my ears vibrate
It was relevant at the time.
Labels: random, silliness
Silly Facebook
So, someone on Facebook has declared tomorrow "Hug a Gay Day."
I laughed when I read that. Is that bad?
It's a nice idea, but the thought of carrying it out is kinda weird to me.
Me: Stand still so I can hug you.
Gay/Bi Friend: Oh, yay, a hug.
Me: Yeah, I promised someone on Facebook I would hug a gay person today.
G/B Friend: Um, well, that's nice I guess... So wait, you didn't just spontaneously want to hug me? This is all for some stranger on the Internet??
Me: Well, I mean, um, I was trying to be sensitive! I mean, um... I'm sorry.
See? It's weird.
Actually, that's probably not what would happen. I don't think I'm going to see any of my gay friends/coworkers on Saturday, because I might not even leave the house (naps and tv, mmm). If I do go, say, go to the grocery store, and I decide to participate in this festivity of sensitivity I would have to hug a random gay person. And how might that play out?
Me: Hi, okay, so according to Facebook, today is Hug a Gay Day, so if you're willing I would like to hug you.
Gay Person: .....Um, well, this is awkward.
Yeah. So no.
Labels: laughing at the wrong moment, random, silliness, society
